Editing Services

A few of the real howlers I've spotted over the years — the kind of thing that slips straight past a tired author but not a fresh pair of eyes:

• The band Queen playing on the radio three years before the band was actually formed.
• The full moon high in the sky at sunrise (the full moon sets at sunrise).
• Someone banging their head on the lentil (a legume) instead of the lintel (the top of the door frame).
• The treat of a fist fight instead of the threat of a fist fight.
• Someone crying insolently instead of crying inconsolably.
• Marital law will rule the country instead of martial law.
• Wondering through the old cobbled streets instead of wandering.
• A condensing sneer instead of a condescending sneer.
• He threw his hands up in the hair instead of up in the air.
• You left me to parish instead of you left me to perish.
• Slammed on the breaks instead of slammed on the brakes.
• He's losing his patients instead of he's losing his patience.
• No breeches in security instead of no breaches in security (guards without trousers?).
• The bugle had become a painful erection instead of the bulge (can a bugle be horny?).
• The smell of stale bear instead of stale beer.
• He excited the cave mouth instead of he exited the cave mouth.
• He walks with a strange gate instead of a strange gait.
• An anecdote to all poisons instead of an antidote to all poisons.
• The serving girl brought their foot instead of their food (I'm not eating there).
• You must not tell a single sole instead of a single soul.
• Stroked his thick red bed instead of his thick red beard.
• He started picking his way up the slop instead of up the slope.
• She fumed, taping her foot on the floorboards, instead of tapping her foot.
• We children hurdled together, waiting for Mama, instead of huddled.
• The souls of her Jimmy Chews instead of the soles of her Jimmy Choos.
• All kinds of chocolate deserts instead of chocolate desserts.